#6: Ever felt like an inconvenience?
A new poem and a series of recollections
Dear reader,
As promised last week, this week’s newsletter is going to be a recollection of a few beautiful gorgeous little and big moments from my last week. Before we get into that though, I wanted to share another free verse poem that I am working on. Will share some context about the poem after you’ve read it.
Inconveniences
when I am bored and boring and having nothing to say to you when today feels like repetition of yesterday when I don’t talk to your friends with any enthusiasm when I don’t show up for your little wins when I am walking-talking-5-feet-4-inches build of anger when my love language becomes shouting when I complain about the same things day in and out and do nothing about it when I am in no mood to respond to anything with even the slightest hint of a smile when I prefer scrolling on my phone over having conversations with you when loving me feels one-sided when our relationship is 100-0 (0 being my contribution) when life is on loop and re-loop . when it gets inconvenient to love me thank you for loving me even then
I wrote this poem thinking about how how I would like to love and be loved. To love even when its inconvenient to love. I think that it is not about just about loving on the somedays that I look ugly, or the once in a blue moon that I cry for no reason, or the one week in a month when I get my period and I am intolerable to be around. But rather its about the un-romantic, the most non-poetic, repetitive times when I becomes an inconvenience and I am not pleasant to be around. Its love during those periods that shines through for me.
Moments of Joy
Enough about love, lets keep that topic for another week’s newsletter. Today let me -relive some happy moments from my week in London as I share them with you.
Regent’s park become my natural habitat: The weather was perfect and I got to spend so much time amidst green and blue. The mental recharging capability that it has is unreal. Plus I got to see soo many purple flowers (if you didn’t already know, purple is my color)
Ate tonnes of croissants: A minimum of at least once a day my friends heard me say ‘‘come, lets get a butter croissant.’’ Such a tummy-happy-maker for me.
Got the best seat in the house: I absolutely love love going on the double decker buses in London once it gets dark and sit on the top front row. Best vibes and views.
Ate at the yummiest Lebanese restaurant: My friend took me to eat at this restaurant called ‘‘Bubala’’ (sounds like bubbles haha and I love bubbles; what a bonus!) and now its become my favourite restaurant in London. Burnt butter is my new all time craving now.
Got to live like I never left the city: I found comfort in the homes of my friends and got to live for 6 days like I never moved from the city. Little things like grocery shopping, going to the gym, making toast, using the kettle for warm water and snuggling up under three layers of blankets made all became my ‘‘these are things i will remember and cherish’’ moments.
Unexpected but very sweet meeting: The timing of the world is fascinating. A childhood friend spotted me from across the road, at a bus stop, in a foreign city, with neither of us having even the slightest of clue that we were both in the same city. Its been ages since we have spoken but catching up with her felt like wholesomely reliving a part of my childhood.
Got my polaroids: Annoyed my friends max level but got the sweetest polaroids, I keep looking at them time and again.
The best window view: My friend’s apartment has the most gorgeous sunrise views from the living room window and I built a little nest right there.
A cute road sign: When I used to live in London I really enjoyed noting down street names that caught my attention. This time I found ‘‘Princess Street’’ and couldn’t help but do the below :)
(This moments of joy list will easily go on for another 3 pages, but I’ll stop here today with a huge huge smile plastered over my face)
That’s all from me for this newsletter. I hope you pause sometime during this week to reflect on all the little little moments that have happened in your past two weeks. It costs nothing to relive moments :)
I’ll see you next week. If you felt something while reading this, have a moment of joy that you’d like to share, or just want to say hi, write to me, I’d love to hear from you :)
Lots of warmth and wonder,
Vaishnavi