#4: This One is for You Daddy
Fathers and expression
Hello,
I recently started working in our family business and an unexpected beautiful by-product of learning and growing within here has been that I am getting to know my father so much more. I have spent all my life only exposed to the family-roles-side of him, and for the first time I am getting to learn about the businessman side of him with such depth and proximity.
I want to start of this week’s newsletter with a poem I am working on for my dad, having discovered this whole new side of him. The poem is still a work in progress, but wanted to share with you all this initial draft.
Daddy, I am learning to speak your language
I complained all the times you came home late from work
I never understood why your presence there mattered so much
I wanted your time all to myself
I did not like that you were always available for work calls
I did not like that you wore the same white work shirt every time we went out
I did not like that I saw you home only for dinners (and very late if I may add)
Daddy,
I did not realize we spoke different languages
You were so fluent at speaking mine that
I never realized, I never learnt to speak yours
I have finally entered your sacred space
To embrace it as my own
Learning that your work is your devotion
I am here to make it mine too
Daddy,
I am finally learning to speak your language
Someday I hope to be as fluent as you
I promise I will speak your language with graceFathers and expression
My dad has always been one of my strongest support systems. He has ensured to create a safe space for me to unapologetically be my most authentic self. Having said that, I also know that my dad always strives to appear composed, to always have it all together. As a young adult now, I realise that my dad is as human as I am.
With this in mind, I wanted to share an excerpt of a letter I wrote to him. I hope reading this reminds you to not just hug your father and tell him that you love him, but to also remind him that you are here to be his pillar of strength too.
Excerpts of a letter I wrote to my father
Daddy, I know you give it your everything and all, every single day, to keep us protected, to keep us reassured whenever we need it, to let us believe that everything will turn out amazing. I know we’ve come to you countless times to ask you “daddy will everything be okay” “daddy am I doing the right thing” “daddy I’m worried about how things will turn out”
Your reply always involves giving us a hug, holding our hands and reassuring us with “Kanna God’s grace everything will be okay.” Daddy I can’t express enough how much strength this offers to us.
For over two decades now you’ve been showering us with this sense of warmth and security, you’ve been our guardian angel, our lighthouse, the foundation holding us strong.
Why am I sharing this today? One reason; it’s because in the recent years more than ever I have come to realise that:
Parents don’t always have the answers to everything, that they don’t always know what the outcome of our actions will be, that they don’t have the ability to predict or modify the future. That parents aren’t superheroes with any mystical powers.
What I am trying to say to you daddy, is that sometimes it is okay to rely on your daughters for strength and reassurance. You have always carried our emotions like they were your own. And now it’s time we play that part too <3
Moments of Joy
My siblings and I had an impromptu karaoke+dance session in our living room today and I must say what an absolute joy it is to find cheer and celebration in the most unexpected and unplanned moments.
Sharing is caring
My dad dedicated this song to my sister and I a while back. I tear up with i-am-immensely-blessed happy tears every time I listen to it. I hope you celebrate the relationship you share with your father as you listen to this.
I’ll see you next week. If you felt something while reading this, have a moment of joy that you’d like to share, or just want to say hi, write to me, I’d love to hear from you :)
Lots of warmth and wonder,
Vaishnavi