#10: Purple is my favourite color

A Dopamine Menu

My dearest reader,

I am writing today wearing purple PJs (that have white daisies on them), sitting on my garden floor amidst the breeze and lots of green, thanking Chennai’s weather for being so favorable to be on a Sunday afternoon. My dad is sitting somewhat opposite to me chatting with my brother, constantly trying to distract me from my writing with his questions about how to place an order on Amazon. And though I am getting annoyed with him for constantly interrupting my writing, there is no other way I would want to be spending this Sunday afternoon. My sister gifted me the purple PJ set that I am wearing right now, and if you know me you know that this colour brings me immense childlike joy. So picture this, a little giddy with joy writer girl typing away on her laptop, trying to curate a little package of sunshine that she will be emailing very soon.

This week’s newsletter went through plenty of iterations, I have 10 other ideas and random thoughts that I’ve kept penning down throughout my week (as I always do) for what I wanted to share today.

Here’s what I finally decided. I want this week’s newsletter to revolve around a beautiful metaphor that I came across this morning.

The Metaphor

Whilst I was in my weekly sutsang this morning, a seeker spoke about how she thought my Guru’s guidance felt like having a four-lined handwriting notebook. The essence of what she shared or rather my interpretation of what she shared is as follows: You don’t have to have to be gifted with beautiful handwriting to have beautiful looking words on your page, you just have to ensure you follow cues from the lines in the book to somehow end up with beautiful looking words on your page.

This got me thinking about the cues and the mental frameworks that guide the actions that we take in our lives, and how having these can allow us to live a more richer and beautiful life.

Mental frameworks that I’ve built for myself

The Sacred Non-negotiables

One non-negotiable that I’ve built for myself is writing down 11 things that I am grateful for every night. I think what making something a non-negotiable does is that it removes the energy spent in making a decision - should I do it or not, shall I skip today, how long is it going to take etc.

So come rain, sunshine, travel or laziness, this habit stays, there is no question of if or if not, period.

The Dopamine Menu

This quirky term I picked up on the internet but what it basically means is knowing what you need to do for yourself when things are not going on track/ you’re not having the best day/ you need some grounding.

Here’s a glimpse of how my dopamine menu looks like:

1. Count your blessings V. There is so much going right for you.

2. Lay on Amma’s lap, hold dad’s hand; basically be around them, their energy is contagious and transferable.

3. Call the friend that you hesitated to call because no you are not a burden V, it doesn’t make you any less of a source of sunshine and yes you can ask your friend to listen without bringing up a solution because sometimes it’s not about the lack of being able to derive a solution, it’s just about the need to ramble.

4. Go get a loooooong hug - my Jaan and Momo (if he’s in a i-like-my-sister mood haha) are always down for this

5. Get into your purple outfits or your purple crocs

6. Get a high intensity cardio workout done or work on those challenging bodyweight movements

7. Write. Keep writing.

Not a Dig at Curiosity!

You may ask, why should I trust a mental framework (I have questioned it myself)? My answer to it is something that I have learnt from my parents - to leave some things unquestioned, un-dissected. If a habit, a practice or a routine is working for you then just hold onto it, not everything needs to have a logical reason, not everything needs to be understood :)

I don’t really know what touching the feet of my parents to take their blessings every morning before work does, I don’t really know what writing 11 things I’m grateful for every night does, I don’t really know what humming a silent thank you before every meal does. But I do know these things are working for me, these habits/ routines/ practices are making me feel like everything in my life is just where it is meant to be, so why would I ever question it. Its working for me, I’ll hold onto it <3

Final Thoughts

So in the past week there were a couple of days where I was navigating the emotion of feeling shaky with my confidence. And I guess that’s where all of the above that I’ve shared this week stemmed from.

I hope reading this felt like a reassuring warm inner voice.

(on a final note, a friend of mine messaged me while I was writing this newsletter saying ‘‘PURPLE LOOKS SO GOOD ON YOU” and gosh did it make me feel beautiful!)

Stay tender. I’ll see you next week my dearest.

With warmth and wonder,

Vaishnavi

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I would absolutely love if you could share this newsletter with your friends and family

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